Adedolapo Olisa
2 min readFeb 14, 2021

Find a woman that you long to serve.

Yes, you read that right.

I have heard these:

Find a woman you love.

Find a woman you long to sleep with.

Find a woman you have great sexual chemistry with.

Find a woman that gives you butterflies.

Find a woman that reminds you of your mom.

Find a woman that accepts you the way you are.

Find a woman that won’t try to change you.

Find a woman that you love more than she loves you.

Find a woman that loves the Lord.

And my personal favorite which no one said but I made up, find a woman with a nice butt.

Hehe! You know that one had to be in there. Good butt is the cure to every relationship issue in my modest opinion.

Those are great finds to be honest. Great finds but I was talking to my mom and it was amazing, out of the blue she was describing very vividly my new find by simply telling me her story and how she grew into the find my dad thought he got but took a while for her to be.

It’s not about her! Oh my. Ohhh my.

Find the woman that you long to serve.

There is so much in that statement that I still need to unpack.

Something about the Bible gets me. I was reading in Romans I think, I’ll find the reference and it talked about marriage is a choice to serve. Marriage is not a place to fight for your rights! And it’s triggered this thought and I am still sitting on it.

When I look forward to looking her in the eyes and saying I do. Boy!! It ain’t about the honeymoon and the good butt. It ain’t about Becky and all the many shades of hair she got going. It’s not about the food she cooks good and how excited she is to serve.

I need to be looking into the eyes of someone I get giddy to wash her clothes, wash her dishes, clean her room, run her errands, serve her breakfast in bed, wash her feet, drive her to the airport, iron her tie, put the seat down.

I’m so busy often looking for how to make sure she will rise to my level and match my service but the Bible hit me in my forehead. If she doesn’t hold up her end, will I fight for my rights like it’s a civil contract we signed to conditionally transact OR will I place my emphasis simply on serving the heck out of her joyfully.

I’m fumbling through this one. That verse hit me hard.

Let me summarize and get outta hear cause I don’t even wanna talk about this one. Read these statements and let them sink in.

The choice to love without a desire to serve is like a candle burning bright planted outside. The wind is coming.

Marriage is an intentional choice to embrace a soul fully independent of returns.

It’s about the work I GET to put in, stupid. If I don’t get or work, it ain’t it.

Adedolapo Olisa

I’m an aspiring story teller that is learning to let stories tell their own morals. You’ll find me where Faith-Tech-Art meet.