Going places I don’t Know

Go on the date in the Valley

Let’s pick a simple scenario. I matched with this woman a long time ago. We have had very sporadic conversations over time. She is not a Christian but she is spiritual. She had issues with me being a technical virgin. She decided to give it a go but clearly reluctantly. Literally she ended the association and then came back and said. I shouldn’t end things just for the mere fact that you are different from me.

  • She will like me and want me to have sex
  • She lives too far and I don’t like driving at night
  • Actually, I am terrified of driving at night on windy highways that I don’t know the route
  • But the only way to know the route and get comfortable is to drive it at night a few times
  • I have this fear because I have driven at night and my heart pounding for 45 minutes. I have had to while driving take deep breaths because my mind is racing, and my car feels like it is not in my control, even if it very much is.
  • I have made it home everytime I have driven late even though my stomach feels like it just went through a washing machine.
  • Fear always says, never do that again!
  • Fast forward to now, yes a grown man like me, is afraid to drive anywhere at night for longer than 30 minutes on highways I do not know.
  • This makes me question my manhood. Like how will I ever drive my wives and kids on long road trips if I am afraid to drive anything longer than 45 minutes ?
  • Wow, so it’s not really about her. This is another opportunity to have courage. To drive at night when I am scared. This is an opportunity to continue practicing facing my fears.
  • It’s also about her because I get to meet and have conversation with a woman I am attracted to.
  • I get to be uncomfortable and attempt to woo a woman.
  • I get to be reminded of my boundaries and communicate them without shame
  • I get to face the binary duet of rejection or acceptance
  • I get to learn more about another human being
  • I get to place her humanity ahead of my needs or wants or lust.
  • I get to not reduce a woman to a person to make a decision on — mine or not.
  • I get reach for a friendship and dialog through whether it aligns with her interest.
  • More importantly, I get to leave an impression of what a man who loves Jesus looks like, speaks like, acts like.
  • As it pertains to fear, I get to act without knowing the end results — marriage or friends or whatever in between.
  • I get to act to clarity.

Who you follow over what to do.

When I am not sure who is speaking, I will act — waiting is an action — because God may need to lead me back but He never leads me astray.

What are you truly afraid of ?



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Adedolapo Olisa

Adedolapo Olisa


I’m an aspiring story teller that is learning to let stories tell their own morals. You’ll find me where Faith-Tech-Art meet.