Running into Blame
3 years ago …
Kanye: “Babe, there is no job in this God forsaking city! We need to move to New York.”
Kim: “New York? If you cannot make it in MN, you gonna be able to slice bread for a sous-chef in NY? Boy… Please!”
Jude: “Girl, I like ass. All that titty business doesnt get me on the dot. Send me nudes of you standing up.”
Janet: “Check your snap. I sent you a pic yesterday, you aint even checked it yet.”
Jude: “I know, I figured it was your face. I kinda wanna see you standing up, I mean bent over. Ask Asia to take the pic. Tell her it's for IG.”
Janet: “ So you dont like my face? Well… dinner tonight is off. I cant be with a man that doesnt wanna see my face.”
Jude: “ NO!!! I never said that. I said send me a profile view so I can see your ass. How does that mean that I dont like your face. Girl, chill!”
30 minutes ago …
Kanye: “Yo… I just got pinged to an emergency on Brooklyn Center. I hate this job. I told my boss, I almost died today and he still pings me into an emergency 3 hours later. We really need to revisit New York again tonight. I promise you, I can slice more than sous-chef onions now. I’ll run the security at least?”
Kim: “Sure babe. Just come home straight tonight. I will wear my black, pink laced lingerie.”
Kanye: “Where else am I gonna go? Betsy’s? Anyways, I was gonna get Powerade to get me through this shift, but I’ll be home ASAP!”
Kanye: “Hello, I’m officer Kanye. I see you are visibly upset. I just want to do my job and get back to my wife. Let’s make this go by quickly. Show me your driver’s license.”
Jude: “F*** you.”
Kanye: “Hey this is officer Kanye requesting backup at Brooklyn Center”
Still, Kanye: “Alright. Sit right in your car and do not move.”
Jude: “*Opens door to unstuck his seat belt* … Sure …”
Moments Later …
Paul Tangerine: “Camera footage shows a young unidentified black man was shot down at Brooklyn Center for refusing to comply with the Officer. However, the audio of the event shows a calm officer trying to diffuse the situation. Initial intel indicates that the officer saw the young man opening the door to flee arrest. There is currently no evidence of that but it's clear the victim opened the door after the officer asked him to sit still in the vehicle. The victim allegedly appeared aggressive and potentially volatile — railing verbal and attitude abuse on the officer.”
I can hear your thoughts following the details of the story trying to figure out who is at fault. You are applying the court of law or even the court of _____ law — your personal opinion library of indignation.
“When they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up and said to them, ‘He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.’” — John 8:7
I am a black man. My brother-in-law is a cop. My sister’s best friend’s cousin just died senseless. And all I care about in every story is who did wrong, what wrong both sides did, and … that’s it.
Kanye is a man that loves his wife and is not a cop because he loves his country but simply it's a job with benefits. Quite possibly thinks black people are freakishly athletic and strong, and if he has done that work long enough, he doesn't just think that, he has been caught off guard by skinny black kids that violently struck him out of the blue on the job. Over time, he has come to believe or ask — why can’t I effectively assess these n******, they always seem to catch me off-guard. Naturally, he never said that out loud. He just thought about it in his mind. He is a Christian and would never call a human a n*****!
- Have you ever been caught doing a job you dont love?
- Have you ever been new on a job learning the ropes and overconfident when you get a hang of an important part of the job?
- Have you ever thought of people through stereotypes only to find that there are exceptions?
- Have you ever realized that you need to update your stereotypes of people because you found a growing list of exceptions to your stereotype?
- Have you ever sucked so bad at your job but hang on to the insurance and benefits at the expense of other people that could be promoted or do a better job?
Jude is an introvert that has a girlfriend. Jude is black, stereotypically black.
Jude is DEAD.
America … Jude is dead.
I am a black man and I dont care that Jude is dead. I care that Kanye wont kill me tomorrow. I wanna know why Kanye killed Jude so I can behave. I am not scared or nervous. I just want to update my stereotype of Cops.
CNN, could you just boil things down simply. Feed me who is to blame, why, and how every black being like me in the future can better adjust my fears to account for the most up-to-date version of the white cop stereotype. Next time, if it's ever me, I must poo my pants first in order to communicate submission to his authority and the law. And even then, there is no guaranty that my stinky car won't inadvertently cause the fingers on his gun to trigger.
I like what Jesus said. I am not without sin. I also want Kanye to sin no more but dang, what the heck is JUSTICE! I don't know if what we need is an answer to the freaking question — who is at fault? — or an answer to — how do I as a black man comport myself? — or for that matter — what does humanity look like in an inter cultural, interethnic culture?
Jude is DEAD.
Jude is DEAD.
Jude is DEAD.
I have used questions as cloaks to shield me from what I run from which I need to sit in — Jude is dead.
“Simply, Jude is dead”
_____________ is dead.
I want Kanye dead too because Jude also is dead. Kanye and Jude both wanted sex, both had love, messy love; both promised someone they'd be home.
I often think that I am Jude, but in reality, I am both maybe even more Kanye than I am Jude.
I’m numb from asking questions that make no difference, writing about pain that retains venom within me, and feeling helpless because _________ is still dead.